Talking to a Void called 'the Internet'
Organising my thoughts
I think my original problem was that I was trying to focus on "inspiration" as a word or concept. I don't see something online and thing "I want to do/try/make that." Which leaves another question. Why do I choose to do what I do?
Today marks 10 years since I moved back home. That wasn't the long term plan obviously. I immediately started to save for somewhere of my own, either as a deposit or a lump sum of cash to go towards furniture of a rental. Right now I have about £11,500 saved up, but it's no where near enough for 2 main reasons: 1) I'm single. 2) I live and work in the London commuter belt.
Today, Saturday 21st May, is 10 years since I left university. The last day of lectures/classes was actually back in early April, so today marks 10 years since the last exam. The day after I was on the train back home. By this point I had already moved out of the flat I had been renting a couple months prior, so when it came to my exams I had to rent a hotel room. Actually, that is a whole story for another time. The point is, it's 10 years since I failed university.
I am in a difficult situation. I want to talk about something, to use this blog for its intended purpose of allowing me to collect my thoughts and express them in a more coherent manor. But the subject is the one forbidden subject - my job.
About 20 years ago my granddad bought a narrowboat. Brand new and somewhat custom made to order. And I was the first person in the family to learn about it. But due to his Alzheimer's, we are now having to clear the boat to sell it.
Always timely
Be a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Your pants are too tight. Don’t show so much skin. Don’t show your thighs. Don’t show your breasts. Don’t show your midriff. Don’t show your cleavage. Don’t show your underwear. Don’t show your shoulders. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Dress modestly. Don’t be a temptress. Men can’t control themselves. Men have needs. You look frumpy. Loosen up. Show some skin. Look sexy. Look hot. Don’t be so provocative. You’re asking for it. Wear black. Wear heels. You’re too dressed up. You’re too dressed down. Don’t wear those sweatpants; you look like you’ve let yourself go.
Be a lady they said. Don’t be too fat. Don’t be too thin. Don’t be too large. Don’t be too small. Eat up. Slim down. Stop eating so much. Don’t eat too fast. Order a salad. Don’t eat…
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For the last month now, I have had what I can best describe as 'intermittent but constant lower back pain.' Yes I know that 'intermittent' and 'constant' have opposing meanings. Let me explain. I have been in constant pain, but the severity of that pain waveres, going from a dull ache and some stiffness, to full on agony. It's worst in the morning and off-the-shelf pain medications do little to help. I do find that later in the day once I have been up and walking around the pain eases, but rarely goes away fully.
Alright, here's my warm-ish take to today's news that Ncuti Gatwa is to take over as the 14th incarnation of The Doctor on 'Doctor Who'.
"This will inspire you" I think everyone has been exposed to phrases like this before. I usually find my reaction to that phrase is 'yeah, right...'. Does anyone else hear these types of phrases and immediately think "No, it won't"
What I am about to share with you is bullshit. Factually inaccurate bullshit presented as truth. It's an article on the 'Black Belt Magazine' website titled "The History of the Belt (grading and ranking) in Martial Arts"
Talking to a Void called 'the Internet' 